[ pittman takes a breath... — yeah, he's definitely still long-winded when it comes to these things at the end of the day... ]
I am. You were in a very difficult situation, to say the least. [ of his own doing or not. pittman's aware he may only know the bare bones of it, but he trusts what he's heard. ] And you made a mistake. I do not mean to make light of it. It sounds as if it was a costly mistake, yes, but one you deeply regret and have vowed to never repeat.
[ and, although it may be a minor, procedural point — ]
You were put on leave for your actions, yes? And you accepted this.
[ yet — even if he only knows what's been demonstrated here, he doesn't think... anyone will be able to punish ryuki than more than he's already punishing himself. it, honestly, makes his heart ache to think about. ]
While you may or may not disagree with me, I still think you are very much worthy of kindness... And I would still appreciate having your company.
[It's funny, almost. Pittman is absolutely right--the person who's been punishing Ryuki the most all of this time has been Ryuki, unable to let go of that guilt and self-loathing for what he did to his superior, who he cared so deeply for, and to his own beliefs and determination to carry out proper justice.
All this time, he's thought--surely it isn't fair, surely it's not right for him to be paired up with someone when he's this much of a mess, and definitely not Pittman, who seems to be everything he wanted to be himself but failed to live up to.
But... this is an outcome he'd never anticipated. And it's making him re-evaluate, and rethink a lot of things. But most of all, most importantly:]
You... really...
[He shakes his head, laughing a little choked up sound.]
Of course you really mean it. You've always said things you mean.
[He swallows tightly, drags in a deep breath... and slowly breathes it out, some of the tension that's settled on his shoulders since day one slowly seeping out.]
... Thank you. I--don't really know how much it means coming from me right now, but... but I want to make up for the things I've done. Until I'm... a lot more worthy of your kindness.
[ spoken with surety; he doesn't think it could mean anything less from anyone else. but even if his eyebrows knit together with brief concern - the tension of the moment still feels charged, and ryuki is only just, more or less, catching his breath from sharing what he had - he tries to abate his own tenseness that with a slight, tentative smile. ]
[ what's even more tentative, really, is how he reaches out to lightly touch his hand to ryuki's shoulder. ]
It sounds like it's a journey you have to make yourself. But -- [ he thinks a moment on how to best word this, without undermining the inherent meaning of that. ] If there's something I could ever do... or if you'd like someone to stand by your side for it, however I can, I'd be happy to do that.
no subject
I am. You were in a very difficult situation, to say the least. [ of his own doing or not. pittman's aware he may only know the bare bones of it, but he trusts what he's heard. ] And you made a mistake. I do not mean to make light of it. It sounds as if it was a costly mistake, yes, but one you deeply regret and have vowed to never repeat.
[ and, although it may be a minor, procedural point — ]
You were put on leave for your actions, yes? And you accepted this.
[ yet — even if he only knows what's been demonstrated here, he doesn't think... anyone will be able to punish ryuki than more than he's already punishing himself. it, honestly, makes his heart ache to think about. ]
While you may or may not disagree with me, I still think you are very much worthy of kindness... And I would still appreciate having your company.
no subject
All this time, he's thought--surely it isn't fair, surely it's not right for him to be paired up with someone when he's this much of a mess, and definitely not Pittman, who seems to be everything he wanted to be himself but failed to live up to.
But... this is an outcome he'd never anticipated. And it's making him re-evaluate, and rethink a lot of things. But most of all, most importantly:]
You... really...
[He shakes his head, laughing a little choked up sound.]
Of course you really mean it. You've always said things you mean.
[He swallows tightly, drags in a deep breath... and slowly breathes it out, some of the tension that's settled on his shoulders since day one slowly seeping out.]
... Thank you. I--don't really know how much it means coming from me right now, but... but I want to make up for the things I've done. Until I'm... a lot more worthy of your kindness.
no subject
[ spoken with surety; he doesn't think it could mean anything less from anyone else. but even if his eyebrows knit together with brief concern - the tension of the moment still feels charged, and ryuki is only just, more or less, catching his breath from sharing what he had - he tries to abate his own tenseness that with a slight, tentative smile. ]
[ what's even more tentative, really, is how he reaches out to lightly touch his hand to ryuki's shoulder. ]
It sounds like it's a journey you have to make yourself. But -- [ he thinks a moment on how to best word this, without undermining the inherent meaning of that. ] If there's something I could ever do... or if you'd like someone to stand by your side for it, however I can, I'd be happy to do that.